


Lifeboat

by helloearthlings



Series: KFAM Dialogue Prompts [1]
Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-15 00:51:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16052066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helloearthlings/pseuds/helloearthlings
Summary: The past months have drained Ben beyond belief. His eyes are perpetually red, outlined by dark circles. His hands shake when he reaches for his beer. Sammy notices, not for the first time, that he’s lost weight.It’s concerning, how much Ben reminds Sammy of himself right now.Sammy wouldn’t have suggested the bar, but Troy had thought it would do Ben some good to get out of his apartment and spend time in public. Ben’s activities right now were pretty regulated to his apartment, the radio station, and wherever the hell else Ben went when he was doing his notebook shit.It’s even more concerning, how much Ben reminds Sammy of Jack right now.





	Lifeboat

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so if you're on tumblr, I'm taking dialogue prompts right now! I'm working through the big number I got - which is so great, thank you so much if you sent one in! I'll probably post one a day until I'm done. This is fun for me as an exercise in like, succinctness, since I'm well-known for writing huge fics for approximately ever. I'm practicing brevity, guys. 
> 
> Anyway, the dialogue prompt for this one: Emotions are a luxury I don't have time for. 
> 
> I'm not writing the prompts in any particular order, but I'll get to yours eventually, and will post the next one tomorrow!

Ben clearly doesn’t want to be here.

Sammy doesn’t blame him for it, not really, and it’s not like Ben and shitty bars are likely to go together even when Ben’s more himself. But the past months have drained him beyond belief. His eyes are perpetually red, outlined by dark circles. His hands shake when he reaches for his beer. Sammy notices, not for the first time, that he’s lost weight. 

It’s concerning, how much Ben reminds Sammy of himself right now.

Sammy wouldn’t have suggested the bar, but Troy had thought it would do Ben some good to get out of his apartment and spend time in public. Ben’s activities right now were pretty regulated to his apartment, the radio station, and wherever the hell else Ben went when he was doing his notebook shit.

It’s even more concerning, how much Ben reminds Sammy of Jack right now.

“Doing alright, buddy?” Troy asks Ben, his eyes wide and concerned when Ben abruptly stops drinking. 

“Fine,” Ben says shortly, not quite meeting Troy’s eye. Sammy stares at him across the booth, his eyes flickering to Troy’s for just half a second to convey the helplessness they both felt here.

It had been three months since Emily disappeared. (A year and nine months since Jack disappeared.) Ben’s not doing any better.

Sammy clears his throat loudly. “I don’t think I’ve been to this bar before.”

“We came here with Ron once,” Ben, surprisingly, responds to Sammy’s bullshit inane commentary. “Last summer.”

“Right,” Sammy nods at him, but Ben doesn’t respond. He leans forward, takes a tentative sip from his drink, and leans back, crossing his arms. 

Troy, from next to Ben, pats his shoulder. Ben doesn’t look at him. “Well, c’mon, little buddy. It’s guys’ night. Anything you wanna do?”

The sarcasm oozes from Ben’s expression as he raises an eyebrow at Troy, he doesn’t even have to say anything for Troy to frown and turn away, reaching for his own drink. 

The silence is far too awkward for three good friends out at a bar. 

“Do you wanna talk about anything?” Troy tries again, softer this time, and Sammy sighs internally. He’s tried this countless times, but Ben won’t ever go for it. 

“Nope,” Ben pops the ‘p’, and takes a very long drink this time. Sammy’s heart sinks, even though it’s what he expected. 

“Maybe you don’t need to talk to us,” Troy starts, hedging. “I don’t mean to preach, but maybe you should find a professional.”

Ben lets out a sharp, humorless laugh that pierces Sammy in an odd way, some awful reminder of how he’d sounded when Lily told him to get a fucking therapist to work through his shit, but also how Jack had sounded when Sammy had asked (begged, pleaded) him to get help.

“No thanks, Troy,” Ben says, voice deliberately light and even.

“It might do you some good,” Troy, bless his heart, tries again. Sammy already knows this is going to be the time Ben snaps.

He’s right, and Ben turns to look Troy in the eye, his own eyes burning. “She’s gone. Is a therapist going to change that?”

Wordlessly, with the widest, saddest, most genuine eyes in the world, Troy shakes his head.

“There’s your answer, then,” Ben says, his mouth twisting unpleasantly. 

“It might help to talk about it to someone,” Troy keeps pushing, light and genuine, but Sammy knows it’s going to be too much for Ben, who has his jaw set particularly stubbornly. “Someone who could help you - help you work through how you’re feeling…”

Ben’s stares across the room, his eyes hard but still miles away. “Emotions are a luxury I don’t have time for, Troy. I have - I have  _ work  _ to do. Coming out tonight was a mistake, I gotta - I gotta go.”

He downs the rest of his beer in a long gulp, and gets out of the booth seemingly in the next second, and then he’s gone, the door to the bar swinging behind him. 

Troy blinks at the place where Ben used to be sitting before turning to Sammy with wide eyes and an apologetic shake of his head. 

“What’re we gonna do?” Troy asks softly. “I thought - I thought with just us, maybe he’d…”

Sammy half-grimaces, half-smiles at Troy. “I don’t think he’s accepting much of anything right now. I’ll - I’ll be right back, Troy.”

Sammy leaves Troy in the booth, thinking that unless Ben absolutely gunned it out of the parking lot, Sammy would catch him. He isn’t quite sure what his move is - he just wants Ben to know that Sammy would follow him and try, that he wouldn’t stop trying to reach him.

Ben’s car is still in the parking lot. Sammy can see him sitting in the driver’s seat when he gets closer, and immediately moves to knock on the passenger’s side door. 

He can see Ben turn toward him slightly, but Sammy doesn’t wait for him to do or say anything. Instead, he opens the door, lets himself in, and sits down.

“I don’t wanna -” Ben starts, and Sammy can tell he’s choked up. Sammy only shuts the door behind him, though. 

“You don’t have to,” Sammy tells him quietly, and then doesn’t speak again.

He can tell Ben’s looking at him, but Sammy only looks out the windshield at the lights of King Falls’ main street. It’s August, it’s dusky, there’s a golden glow to everything around them as the sun sets. But Sammy knows that’s not what Ben sees when he looks out the window - he just sees the world that took Emily from him.

Sammy understands that. It feels like his world usually has two lenses - he can see what he’s supposed to see, what he’d see if he really was just a radio shock jock who started over. The dusky golden sunset. But he can also see a world of chaos and treacherous darkness that snatched Jack out of thin air, and could do the same to Ben at any moment.

Sammy doesn’t say anything, even when Ben starts crying. He knows Ben doesn’t wanna talk. So he just sits there and listens. 


End file.
